Setbacks... Anger Edition 2

But the subtitle of the film is, "You Can (Not) Advance." You can try to aim for a better life. You can destroy yourself putting yourself out there for people you're supposed to love and are supposed to love you back. You can open up to other people, do nice things for them, strive to improve. But in the end, this film is not about happy endings, it's about setbacks. Violent, horrible, rage-inducing setbacks. They are terrifying, they are raw, and they are devastating.-- Justin Sevakis, Nov 24th 2009

This is a review from Evangleion Rebuild 2.0. For those who know me you may also know that I do like to watch anime. It's a point of relaxation for me and also a way for me to think about other things aside from what may be going on around me. This one in particular is one of my favorites.

Setback, I suffered one last night that will probably change the course of my service here. It hurt, it frustrated, and for the first time I had the closest thing to what I wanted to call anger. But... I couldn't show it. I didn't know how... It didn't hit me that that was the case until this morning. I don't know how to show my anger. Hell, I barely know how to recognize it as such.

I started to think this morning on how I had shown anger in the past. I cried about a lot when I was a child, until one day, I just stopped crying. I rarely cry at funerals now, and when I do, I let out a lot. I guess when it came to getting angry the thought occurred as to what will it change. There was a time when I would yell and fuss because others were yelling and fussing at me and I just wanted my end of the conversation to be heard. I was told I had anger issues, and anger management issues, and they did not listen to me, let alone change; so I started to think, what's the point? Why even let myself get that way? Why even discuss it.

People are sensitive, as much as they say that they aren't, they are... People don't like to be told that they are wrong about anything, they don't like to apologize, and they definitely don't like to change things that are comfortable to them for the sake of others. So, I started doing the things that people didn't like to do...

Come to think about it, nothing will change after reading this blog, so why am I still writing?