Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Have Fallen Out of Love...

     Seriously, I have. And what's worst is that I am really indifferent about it. I'd rather just sit here and listen to music (right now btw, it's the Rumors album by Fleetwood Mac) and do nothing. I just don't have it in me to fight about it right now. I don't have the strength to lift a finger and make the first step back, and I am uninspired to do so. Just typing about it is really a stretch for me, and this is painful in itself.
     Of course I just skipped "Don't Stop" and went straight to "Go Your Own Way", because I don't want an inspirational, "Tomorrow's Going to be Better than Today" song; I can't tolerate it right now. I should have known something was up when my Mother talked about you to me. It still brings a little bit of shame to even think about it now.
     Let's just get it all out in the open. I don't like you right now, and I damn sure don't Love you anymore. You've been around me for most of my life and it's always been about you! What you need, how much time we spend together, and then you get around the people I Love and act a fool. I feel like every time you've done this you are giving me an ultimatum... Either be with them or be with me. You draw me in time and again by saying I can trust you with my true feelings, but then you betray me.
     What happened to us? We used to be inseparable. Wherever I was you were there too, my closest confidant, my sheath, my hideaway. I just don't feel comfortable with you anymore. So, I am leaving you. I may keep all of the reminders of you around me for a while until I have used them all up, but from now on I don't want anything to do with you as far as my feelings are concerned.
      I see how reminders of you look at me from the foot of my bed. How my shelves are stacked with reminders of you; but this is it... Pen and Paper, I have fallen out of Love with you...

1 comment:

  1. Wow! Raw and to the point. You have not lost it my friend. It is like losing a lover when your creative spark abandons you. I have been there and you and I shared that before. That lover does come back. I think I am writing better than I ever did. Maybe that creative break up was what I needed to get me going again. She will come crawling back to you.

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