I find myself listening to a lot of music, sometimes just as background noise, and other times just for some meaning. With tomorrow being Dia de los Padres, I figured I should go in on the subject of fatherhood. Now for those who know me, you all know that this is a loaded subject that can go a whole lot of ways…
I have had to push the backspace button a lot in the past 15 minutes. You ever heard that song by Ed O.G. back in the day “Be a father to your child”? It has that old Roy Ayers saxophone riff in it, real smooth sounding??? It’s stuck in my head right now. Well not really I just changed it to “The Fact Is (I Need You) by Jill Scott. Sorry, usually I have something on my mind all nice and outlined to say, but right now I don’t know what to say about Fathers or the day in celebration. I’m not upset or bitter or any of that, but trying to find words right now is like trying to hold the wind in your hand, so I am going to keep grasping and we’ll just see where this goes, ok?
I have a question, which is up for conversation on the blog, I, of course, will try to take an active role in the conversation as posts come in, but what makes a man a Father? For that matter, what makes a man a man, what gives him the right to wake up in the morning and say, “Yesterday I was a man, and today I will be the same?” One of my favorite Poems is by Rudyard Kipling, and I know a lot of people know this poem (for those who don’t it is posted below) it is entitled IF…
IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,But make allowance for their doubting too;If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,Or being hated, don't give way to hating,And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;If you can meet with Triumph and DisasterAnd treat those two impostors just the same;If you can bear to hear the truth you've spokenTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,And lose, and start again at your beginningsAnd never breathe a word about your loss;If you can force your heart and nerve and sinewTo serve your turn long after they are gone,And so hold on when there is nothing in youExcept the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,If all men count with you, but none too much;If you can fill the unforgiving minuteWith sixty seconds' worth of distance run,Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
So I finally settled on some songs, “He Say, She Say” by Lupe Fiasco, and after “Lone Soldier” by Black Ice.
I Love my Father and I thank God for the person that he has helped me to become, whether through what he has done, or what he has not done. My brother Nakia has a cousin named Khalid (sorry if it’s spelled wrong) and he once said to me,”Be better than your predecessor”. It is a thought that has stuck with me since it was said to me and I used to strive to be better until I became my predecessor to a certain degree. I realized that while it is important to be better, it is also important to be yourself and realize that whatever your Father may have done is not what you have to do and is not how you are doomed to live your life... I would like to thank God for my Mother and the role she has played in my life. I thank God for all Fathers, those in action and those in names alone, for the Fathers that are no longer with us, and also to all of the women who have to play the role of Father and do the best they can. So HAPPY FATHERS DAY/FELIZ DIA DE LOS PADRES to you and yours!!!
“Life is a one way street and/ If you could paint it/ I’d draw myself going in the right direction”-Cee-Lo, Gnarls Barkley, “Just a Thought”
Have a thought you don’t want to post on the blog? Shoot me an email at billy.worthy@gmail.com or Skype me at billy.worthy.jr.
Father, PoP, DaD or what ever you want 2 call tht dude who made u get up and cut the grass on a sat morning after drinking all night (I digress).I feel a man has those titles because of the guidance and the know how to make you the man/woman you are today! FATHER= The Original Go2 Guy!
ReplyDeleteI know this post is about Father's Day , but all of the things you have said could be applied to mother's as well. I was once asked, "What did you learn from your mother?" My answer to that question was definitely not what they expected to get. I learned how to not be like my mother. My mother is a hard woman with many issues that need not be addressed here, but I was and still am to a degree afraid of my mother. She was not physically abusive, but there were things about her that scared me. I do not want my children to feel the fear that I feel for my mother. I have no answer to the question of what a mother or father should be. We do learn from our parents, but it is not always those gems of wisdom that people proudly quote at appropriate moments. On Father's and Mother's Day we should honor ANYTHING we have learned, be it good or bad.
ReplyDeleteChris, I agree with you, I have learned things from my father that I can't say that I was proud to learn, but they have definitely made me the man that I am today. I still have a fear for my mother because she still has it in her to wip my butt if I get out of line!!! Nick I do agree with you that it is all about guidance, and it is important that a man give that guidance to his children. Now by all means I am not saying that women are not fit to do the same job because there are plenty and continue to be plenty that have raised great people all by thier lonesome.
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