I have come to learn a few things over this past year, and the biggest of them are that you can't go into any situation with expectations. I do this way too often, and all too often I fall victim to these expectations. Just like writing this blog, I expect for people to read it and comment on it, and then from there to spark a deep conversation that would hopefully lead to self awareness that may not have been there before.
I kid myself all the time with these things.
Where am I going with this? No idea...
What do I expect out of life? Right now? Less everyday. No action requires an equal but opposite reaction, so why expect for there to be one. I may work my fingers to the bone, but the pay that I may earn may not match the amount of effort put in, and there lies the problem with me.
So how do you change it Billy?
Stop expecting things, we live, we grow old, and we die. That's what to expect, that and taxes, lol, lots of taxes. Just because people (strong emphasis on people) guarantee things doesn't mean that they can fulfill their end of the bargain, or in the case of where I bought my car, want to exactly fulfill their end of the guarantee.
If you are a nice guy, like I was, stop it. You cannot put a relationship or friendship into an equation of money+listening ear+shoulder to cry on=_______________, it doesn't work like that, and it took me getting taken advantage of to see it.
Old habits die hard though, and the expectations have to be slaughtered everyday. Not like clean drugged in your sleep type slaughtered, but literally eviscerated... Or the lessons you learn from your mistakes will be that much worse on your already fragile ego.
So this is my act of Catharsis, for all the world to see. I am not a perfect man, but neither are you. I get upset with myself for thinking I am further ahead than I actually am, because life has a way of showing you that you never really arrive where you think you are, but you always end up where you should be.
We expect attention, that is why we do what we do. That is why we spend countless hours on social media. We are all more accessible than ever before and why do we do it? We expect for someone to see it, to be recognized, to be noticed. People wear black face on Halloween to be noticed, to leave some type of lasting impression with 140 words or less. I too strive for this, I am just as guilty and a hypocrite all the same.
I am ashamed of myself.
